Fiction

Meditation on the Permanence of Glass

Sal Jackson

November 3, 2009

A bird hit the window. It wanted to fly right in. Your initial anger was at the bird, then the window, then the window cleaner for doing such an immaculate job; there was no way the bird could have seen it. The window cleaner must have felt a sense of pride in a job so well done, but did he feel a dull dread, knowing this crystal-clear glass would increase the chances of little birdies snapping their necks in mid-flight? The old window cleaner may have been aware of this danger and might have done a lousy job on purpose so birds like this one—it might be a sparrow—would notice the glass in time. If this were true, the old window cleaner, while performing his lousy work, would have had the same sense of pride as the new window cleaner. This new window cleaner’s work is impeccable, but was your complaint to the window-cleaning company worth it? What was such a bother about a couple of streaks on the window? Why is a sense of pride in one’s work important? Why was the window closed in the first place? A bit of fresh air would rid the apartment of its staleness, and a sparrow swooping around the room while you skipped amongst the furniture, trying to shoo it back outside, would have really got the blood pumping. But now you’re rooting through the closet for a shoebox, the only dignified place for a small dead bird.

B.L.T. Rider

Racan Souiedan

October 15, 2009

Image: B BarbosaImage: B Barbosa

Marek Laredo quit his job at the office, broke up with his girlfriend, Sarah, and headed along the highway to the badlands of Death Valley in his blood-red Chevy Camaro. At mile fourteen, he pulled over to the side of the road and whipped his stale necktie out of the air-conditioned interior and into the parched California desert.

Marek leaned back behind the wheel and brushed his wild, curly hair aside. He stepped on the gas and then set his car on cruise control through a smooth stretch of highway.

At Leadfield he spotted an exit sign and turned off the highway for a hot meal. Leadfield was a quiet town with little pink houses and big green lawns. At Tot’s Diner, Marek pulled into the parking lot and screeched to a halt.

Tot’s Diner seemed no different from any of the countless dives Marek had visited in his life. A young man in an apron dragged a dirty mop along the cracked linoleum floor. Obese customers bulged out of shabby blue vinyl booths. A man in a trucker cap shovelled eggs and meat down his throat. A ceiling fan spun overhead, sprinkling years of collected dust onto plates below. As Marek peeled off his shades, a few of the men caught his gaze. Quiet murmuring filled his ears. From one of the booths, the town’s sheriff, gave him the stink eye while chewing a mouthful of steak. “You keep your nose clean in my town, son,” said the sheriff.

Marek nodded and cracked a thin smile. Play the game, Marek thought. You can wreak vengeance on the drive out but for now, don’t step out of line. The walls of the diner were battleship grey, but the paint had clearly been white once. “Feels like I’m in the hull of a ship,” Marek whispered. He took a booth by the window so he could see his car.

“Need a menu, honey?” asked the waitress, a plump middle-aged woman with dull black hair.

“Yes, please,” he replied. The waitress handed him the menu, a single laminated sheet of lined paper. He immediately decided on the bacon and tomato sandwich. “I’ll have a bacon and tomato sandwich, please,” he said.

“Do you want lettuce with that?” she asked, and Marek responded positively.

“Hey, that’s just a BLT!” said Marek. He laughed awkwardly. The waitress stared at him. The sheriff glared at Marek, clenching a fork between his pale fingers.

“Come on, it was just a joke,” said Marek. The waitress glared at him. Her stomach bulged from the weight of her heaving breaths. Beads of sweat trickled down her forehead. The metallic ping of cutlery striking linoleum resounded throughout the diner. Marek could feel everyone in the room staring at him with hostility. Amid the silence, someone said, “His sorry ass is finished.” Marek trembled but couldn’t decide what to do.

The waitress abruptly stormed off toward the kitchen. Marek seized the opportunity to scramble for the exit. His feet skidded on the damp floor. He kicked open the door and ran into the parking lot. He dropped his keys in the dirt. His hands clawed at the car door.

The waitress stepped outside and pulled a pistol from the pocket of her apron. She aimed and shot Marek through the temple. His corpse fell to the ground. “No, it ain’t just a BLT,” said the waitress. “Pity it took your worthless life for you to figure that out.”

Anguish of a House-Sat Cat

Marty Bachman

July 15, 2009

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My diet has been reduced to canned food ever since my keepers left for vacation and the fat tart they employed for my own personal care threw the salmon steaks that were reserved for my lunch and dinner into the box freezer in the basement. She muddled down there for what seemed like an hour, and when I heard those meaty slabs she uses as thighs slapping together as she lumbered back upstairs, I slid against the doorframe and prepared to pounce, to take a bite out of one of those fleshy hooves and fight for what was mine! But then, I thought, what would happen to the poor freezing salmon? A sneak attack would only waste valuable time and make an enemy of the only being who could retrieve my precious fish from the icebox, a task I am incapable of performing myself.

My only hope was to smother her with affection. So as one of her chunky ankles passed by the door, I bristled my tail and shouldered into her calf with a purr.

“Oh kitty.”

I carved figure eights between her legs until she stooped to pick me up.

“You must be hungry.”

I allowed her to stroke my well-manicured coat as she walked around the living room, and I blinked my eyes to feign a look of ecstasy.

“Listen to your little motor running. You’re not at all the devil they spoke of! Let’s get you some food.”

But she was wasting time! The poor pink fish steaks were freezing in the basement. I wanted to swat at her to let me down and release me from the senseless stroking and pacing—but wait, she began to tromp toward the basement door—yes, yes!

No. She walked past the basement and plunked me down beside my stinking bowl.

What is this foulness? Whiskas?

I can no longer be held accountable for my actions.

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