SWM—Olympic Lodging Needed—February 12–26, 2010 (Vancouver)

Phoebe has sublet our apartment. Phoebe is staying with her friend and I’m left to fend for myself. Yes, no phone and no home, and when I stumble down familiar streets I’ll end up . . .  who knows where.

Will you let me stay at your place? I promise I won’t do the following:

• puke (inside, or out a window)
• piss in the shower
• steal
• break things and not replace them
• give empty guarantees to help
• “borrow” clothes
• snoop
• make messes I know I won’t clean up
• walk around in my gonch
• catch anyone masturbating (although it may be funny afterwards)
• treat the hosts like the help
• have sex and not clean it up
• give hosts sick (not the first bullet, but colds, flu, etc.)
• become self-conscious about writing a thank-you note to the point of not writing the thank-you note!

But I will write you a thank-you note, I will!