I've just returned to Vancouver from Palm Springs, and Phoebe won the coin toss so our sexual misadventures will be appearing in her writing and not mine. However, we were lucky enough to be in the States for President Obama's inauguration. I don't know how much Mr. Obama will change our world, but I believe in something I never had much hope in before and that's the will to do good, and on the airplane home I thought how Mr. Obama's presidency and world affairs could very much be seen as an orgy. I've discovered that orgies like politics, need a strong leader to watch over the engagements and to have forethought enough so all territories and peoples may benefit, perhaps not at the same time but in time.

Strong leaders display confidence, intelligence and respect (the exact qualities that President Obama displays), especially when giving themselves, and we can be assured that their presence within a room is palpable.

The mistress that reigned over our orgy – one Vivien and her husband Radcliffe – possessed these qualities as well as ample amounts of grace.

We always remember the first, for the aspects of life that impact us stay with us. It is never easy, and one must get over fears and complacencies and work hard to make the best of opportunities when they expose themselves. A good leader will show that they are in charge, and have the insight to know when a finger is being misguidingly pointed or felt where one hasn;t been felt before. If entreaties are ignored or suddenly withdrawn, it is an intelligent leader, like Vivien, who will diplomatically align new allies. If someone is being aggressive, it again falls to the leader to calm them, with intimidation if necessary, and to alter the group dynamic in such a way that the aggressor’s power is taken or diminished so all can continue their mutual exchanges of pleasurable interaction. And good leaders, like President Obama, set high examples. And as an unrelated side note: spittle is not a socially accepted lubricant.

All must be ready to act, and once in the moment, engage the others; not doing so is an act of entropy. In essence, those who remove themselves become part of the furniture and left in the corner to pleasure themselves – a ruler of one, but a strong leader will make you present, making you someone's gift and/or giving you one. Strong leaders attract with humour, wit and charisma and people naturally come together while fulfilling the jobs s/he puts at hand.

Just leaders know what we hold dear to the last – hope that the memories, which fill our nights and days to come, give a quiet, smiling sense of optimism and satisfaction in a job well done. After all, politics, like an orgy, is a bringing together of disparate people, and true leadership comes from recognizing the ways people experience pleasure, pain, acceptance and care, and in return give it. Delightful people is what we all need, and we all may not get what we want and most may lose some of what they have, but I know I need… want… and have peace of mind in the leaders that I have known.