I am excited.

Went round to Phoebe’s to drop the keys off and walked in on her masturbating. Now, I don’t know how it is for women but if a guy walks in on a girl masturbating it is right up there with your parents surprising you with a car, not a piece of shit car but one you would actually drive.

It seems we just needed to get a few things out into the open and now I’m in her work. Yes! She’s including me in her erotica. Seems only fair. We’re planning a getaway together.

Palm Springs is nice this time of year. We’re calling it a research trip.

And now for something lighter… one of my good friend’s favourite jokes:

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.

It’s not funny, I’m sorry it’s just not.

I’ve been thinking a lot about it today, and I have a feeling it comes from the need to feel pleasure but your mind needs to do most of the work. So masturbation would be remembering something into existence and the opportunity to have it in your hands - seizing it and bringing it to life, much like the skeleton in The Last Unicorn:

I hope Phoebe and I aren’t just pouring wine down our throats and we’ll have to clean up the mess later, imaginary or not. She says no, and that “nothing ends because there are no endings.” I like that, and I feel blessed that the woman I love sees no ends to us.

And one more joke that my friend loves and Igor Rybak, author of Sentence Types which can be found on this site, chuckles at whenever he hears it:

So, Christ is up on the cross and looks around and then sees Peter coming up the slope.

“Peter. Hey, Peter. Up here.”

“Jesus?”

“Yah. Come here.”

Peter looks at the guards and stops.

“Peter, I’ve got something to tell you.” Jesus says.

Peter moves a bit and then stops again.

Jesus knows he’s afraid of the guards.

“Peter, come here.” Jesus says, and the guards step aside. Peter comes up and leans forward. “Peter, I can see your house from up here.”

Our house, baby – me and the peach!